Tuesday, March 4, 2014

How to make your vanilla husband or boyfriend interested in femdom.


There are many women in vanilla relationship who are interested in female domination relationship, and I've been asked many times:

Is there a way to make a vanilla husband or boyfriend to be submissive to me?
How can I make my vanilla husband to be interested in femdom?
How can I make my husband obey and serve me?

Well, there is away...

femdom how to enslave your husband





For the sake of convenience, I will use the term "submissive male" although it is inaccurate. The right term is " Male with a desire to be dominated by a woman." Since he can be dominant by nature, but has a strong desire to submit.

So the right question for this post is : How can I make my husband love to be dominated by me.

General information

There are a lot of males who have a desire to be dominated by their wives or girlfriends.
They love and desire to serve, obey and worship their wives. They feel a need to submit to their wives or girlfriends. And when they do they experience happiness and satisfaction.

But their submissive desire is not something that comes out of the blue. There was a trigger that caused it.

So what was the trigger that caused a man to like female domination?
The most common reason is related to a desire was evolved during the childhood or youth.
He had an experience with a dominant girl or a female with authority who caused him to be sexually aroused.
It can be a babysitter that he found her attractive, and she had a dominant nature. It can be a good-looking  class mate who was dominant, and he liked her.
Of course, there are many males who got the desire later during their adulthood for the same reasons.


Well, my main point is that you can try to imitate and start the desire in your husband.


The steps is based on something that I have done with my friend. She wanted the same lifestyle as mine, but her husband was a vanilla. I guided her through all steps, and the result was beyond our expectations. Today they have permanent domination/submission relationship.

It may or may not work for you, since every man reacts differently to new things.
However, If you succeed it will worth the efforts you put in.

train husband to be slave femdom
Good boy. When I come back home, I want to see you have done all the chores I gave you.


First you should get to know your enemy, his ego.
It is likely that his ego will raise up during your attempt to dominate him.
It is natural, because even if he likes it,  he will feel the need to protect his manhood.

Handling his ego is quite simple. Just follow these three rules:


1. Flatter him a lot about his willing to submit and cooperation. Do it after the act or even during the act if you see he needs it.
Few examples:
  • " It's great to see you let me have control. It shows you are a real man"
  • "You are so sexy when you let me have control. You are turning me on!"
  • "You are such a cool husband, not like other pathetic males who need to show their manhood like losers, you really confidence in yourself"

2. Know when his ego is rising up, ease and let go of your domination until next time.

3. After the act, he may try to dominate you back to prove his manhood. Let him be a bit dominant.

The ego handling is just a temporary situation. He will feel less and less the need to show his manhood as time goes by, until it will disappear....  at this point you know you eliminated his ego when he is with you. And he will let himself submit to you easily.


There are two sections in my post :

A. bring domination into the bedroom  - In this section you start and create the bond between your domination and his sexual desire, that will lead to a great desire to be dominated by you.
B. bring domination outside the bedroom  - In this section you are starting to use his sexual desire for your domination. He will happily serve you and obey you also outside the bedroom.



A. bring domination into the bedroom.

He should be very satisfied during this section because you will make him cum a lot.
It will seem that you are focusing on his pleasure, but your hidden target, here is to create the bond between his sexual desire and your domination.

Sexual desire is every man Achilles heel, and you are going to use it...
If you succeed in all steps, you create his sexual desire to be dominated by you.This desire will grow over the time, and he will dream and fantasize about you dominating him.


Guidelines for this section :
  • Start small, go slow. Start to add dominant behavior to the bedroom gently.
  • When you plan a night together, let him know in advance. Make him build the desire in anticipation and make himself available for it.
  • Do not reveal your mission ( to make him love your domination) . Just do it.
  • Do not use offensive words! Words like loser or dump-ass will turn him off at this level.
  • Handle his ego as mentioned earlier.
  • I divided the steps into nights. Repeat the same night level until you feel comfortable to move to the next night.
Let's start....

The 1st Night 

Start simple with the obvious domination position...Have sex with him and be on top.
You can skip this step if you are already on top frequently...

How to dominate you husband




The 2nd Night

Get handcuffs. A lot of couples are using handcuffs to bring some kink to their bedroom.
Handcuff him to the bed. If you cannot, try a different way to tie his hands.
I recommend metal handcuffs since the metal gives a real domination effect...

husband handcuff wife femdom domination
I love to see you this way....Now shut up and let me abuse you.


The 3rd Night

Now start to be a little more dominant. Use the handcuffs again. But this time hold his cock in your hand and give him pleasure softly and gently. While you play softly with his cock, Tell him that you like him tied up, that he is sexy like that. Tell him that now you can do whatever you want with him, that you are the mistress, and he is your slave.
His hard-on will reveal whether he likes it or not...

If he cooperates, continue a bit more. Ask him "Who is my slave?" he should answer that he is your slave.
make him cum. ( Hand-job, blow-job or inside you)


tie husband mistress slave femdom
You are my slave...you love it,  Don't you?  Tell me I'm your mistress.


Important -From this night forward when you make him cum, he will need to beg for it.
He is aroused and tied, and his orgasm is completely depended on you.
Whether you are using hand-job or blow job, when he is close to cum, hold his cum by getting slower and ask him to beg you.

Example:
You: Do you want to cum?
Him: Yes!!
You: Beg me!
Him: Please please let me cum
You: say, "Mistress, I'm your slave, please let me cum"
Him: Mistress, I'm your slave, please let me cum!

Each time you will make him beg more and more and use "domination" words.
Example:
"I beg you my goddess, please let me cum"
"I will serve you and be your slave forever, please goddess!"
"I will worship you at your feet every day, please goddess!"

He is cumming and being dominated at the same time.


The 4th Night
Do the same as the 3rd night, but this time he will be naked, and you will remain dressed.
When only he is naked, It will make him feel like an object. He will feel your power.




The 5th Night
Same as the 4th night, But this time also make him give you oral please while he is handcuffed.

female domination pussy worship
Lick it and make me cum!

The 6th Night
Follow the same step as the 5th night, but this time after dominating him as before, leave him handcuffed, go out and take a short break. Let him stay there alone...He will stay there powerless, depended on you.

When you get back let him know he was a good boy and continue with the domination.


The 7th Night

Go to the nearest pet shop and buy a collar and a leash for a big dog. Go home and wrap it as a gift.
When you get to bed with him, give him the gift. Before he opens it, say that you brought him a little gift, and if he agrees  to wear it, it will be such a turn on.
If he says not today, show a bit disappointment, but leave it aside. Tell him "ok, maybe another time".
If he agrees (I'm sure he will if you passed the other nights) go on and put the collar on him and attached the leash.

Once it's on, you hold the leash all the time.
Tell him that you own him now and ask him to give you oral pleasure.
Have sex with him ( holding the leash)

Make your husband your slave
You are my pet now. I am your owner.

The 8th Night
Do the same as nights before. Collar him and attache the leash. This time be more dominant verbally.Tell him that he is your slave and now that you hold the leash he will do whatever you tell him.

Give him few orders:  bow down before me, kiss my feet, walk next to me like a good dog and so.

If he agrees to be leashed, I grantee he knows where it's going, and he loves it.



The 9th Night

Get your feet next to his face and order him to kiss your feet.
After few minutes ask him to lick and worship your feet. Use the word "worship" so he will know what he is actually doing.

Important-Few words about foot worship...
It is not a surprise that every male with a desire to be dominated love to worship his mistress feet.
The reason is that kissing the mistress feet is an expression for submission.
Unlike foot fetishist, when submissive male worships his mistress feet, he is worshiping her.
Many submissive males claim that the act of foot worship is similar in many ways to a religious worship.
It's true. I see the total devotion and submission in the eyes of my slaves when they worship me at my feet.

The foot worship is very crucial for submission.
This is something you want to do and create the same effect.

I know that many women are embarrassed to do it, and some are shame with her feet. I can only say, get rid of the shame and embarrassment and enjoy the great feeling having your feet worshiped.

If you just got out of the shower and your feet smell and taste like soap, I advise to walk a bit barefooted so the natural smell will return. The smell of soap will destroy what you want to accomplish...

femdom foot worship
Kiss your goddess feet. Worship me.

The 10th Night
Do the same as before,  But this time you should turn him around and spank him with open hand on his bare bottom. Tell him he was a bad boy, and he needs to be punished.


Important - Few words about punishment...
In D/S, punishment is used for discipline.
But if a submissive man like to be punished, is it really punishment?  The answer is yes.
Submissive males don't really like punishments. They only love that the mistress has the power to punish and discipline them.
It makes them feel enslaved and committed to obey their powerful mistress who holds the whip.
When you'll use the whip for real punishment, you see that he will become more submissive and obedient. He will respect you and the power you have.

When I and my husband started to explore female domination, I remember my husband bought a whip for the "game". One day during our "game" he pissed me, off so I used the whip for punishment. He moaned and I could see he is in pain, but my decision was to punish him. After words, I noticed that he started to respect my authority immediately and obey my commands without questions. I continued to use the whip that day, and he got more and more obedient. On the next day, I felt bad about it, so I asked him if I caused him too much pain. He said yes, but this is the first time he Felt I really have power on him. He felt submissive and obedient, and he liked it a lot.
Since then,  the whip has become my best friend....

Now let's go back to the hand spanking...
At this point, you are trying to bring in punishment as a concept only. It's not really punishment. It's more a statement that you can punish.
In the future, you will use the whip for real punishments...

femdom punishment
You are a bad boy and need to be punished!


The 11th Night
Order him to get naked in the bedroom, put the collar on his neck and wait for you on his knees down on the floor.  Before he goes, tell him that if he does not do exactly what you asked he would be punished.

Let him wait for you about 15 minutes. Go to the bedroom and check if he was obedient.

Once he is ready in the right position, get closer to him and ask him to bow down before his goddess. Order him to kiss your feet.

Tel him that you are not pleased wit his worship. Hold his hand between your legs and spank him hard 5 times.It does not really matter how he kiss you feet. This is just and excuse.


female domination punishment
 I'm not pleased!, you will get punishment again.

After the first punishment, do it again. Order him to worship your feet while you are standing in front of him.  He will worship better, but you are still not pleased. Hold his head again and spank him hard five times.

The third time, do the same. However, this time you will spank him 10 times. His spanked ass will turn red.
Order him to stand up. Get close to his face and tell him he is your slave, tell him he should be obedient and so.

Kiss him or let him kiss you. It's time to make love with him freely. It does not matter who is on top.

Now You will see the passion your dominance cause him...



B. bring domination outside the bedroom

Once you see he loves your domination in the bedroom,It's time to take it out outside.
Now it time for you to enjoy the fruits of the seeds you planned In section A and start your real domination.

The slavery bracelet :
Buy him a man's bracelet. This bracelet will use for your domination from this day forwards.
Metal bracelet is preferred since metal is stronger, durable and symbolized power.
This bracelet will be the sign for his slavery and your domination.
When it's on his wrist, It will mean that he is complied to your domination and obligated to serve and obey you.

The bracelet rules.
1. Once it's on his wrist, He is not allowed to take it off. You are the only one who is authorized to take it off.
2. As long as it's on his wrist, He is your slave, and you are his owner.
3. He is obligate to accept punishments.

Make sure to force these rules. He must respect these rules and treat like it a sacred bracelet.

Ok, let's start your first day of domination.

Start as the former section. Take him to the bedroom, handcuff him and start the tease and domination.
But this time, you will not let him cum. Yes, you are adding sexual denial in this section.

During your domination tease, introduce him to the bracelet.
Before you put the bracelet on him, explain the rules of the bracelet.
Ask him if he accepts the rules...( Either way ou will not make him cum today).

Once he agrees, put the bracelet on his wrist, but do not remove the handcuff yet.
Turn him over so his ass will be exposed up.
Tell him "darling, I will demonstrate now what will happen if you remove the bracelet by yourself or disobey me."
Use the whip and 5-6 times hard. Remember he agreed to accept punishment a minute ago...

Remove the handcuff. Now you have him as your slave for 24 hours.

Go and lay down in the sofa and start to give him orders.
Use strict orders and be demanding.

wife domination house chores


Examples of things he should do:
  1. Serve you in any way you want.
  2. Do some house chores like washing the floor, cleaning the kitchen laundry and so?
  3. He should refer to you as mistress or goddess during his slavery period.
  4. He should worship your foot at your demand.
  5. Punish him with the whip if you are not pleased.

After 24 hours take him back to the bedroom and handcuff him once again.
Tell him he was a good boy, and you are very pleased with his obedient.
Make him cum in any way you wish. Remove the bractlet and the handcuffs.

The start in the bedroom and allowing his orgasm at the end is only temporary and the first times you are dominating him outside the bedroom.

I will stop at this point.
This post was written to get him interested in femdom.

If you have experience with domination, I'm sure you know how to take it forward.
For those who don't, I may write a post about it in the future. It depends on the demand.


Good Luck.




33 comments:

  1. Very good.I'm in a reverse of this scenario.I'm male,and for 32 years have put up with a wife who's totally switched off by sex.Her mother was the same,by her own words,utterly switched off by sex.I've tried to incorporate, her total lack of interest in various femdom scenarios,but always to no avail.She doesn't like to be touched at all.Sex,is not encouraged --ever.The only thing she is even remotely interested in,is , about 6 times a year,she let's me kiss her bum, for an hour or so,then bring her to orgasm with my tongue.I even have to beg to be allowed to cum.No restraint necessary; unless she gives me permission,I can't cum.I have to call her Mistress.I'm not even allowed to touch her large breasts.I'm permitted to fondle her large bottom,but only when serving her with my mouth and tongue.At no time does she touch me.She doesn't kiss. The only "loving" aspect comes when I'm kissing her bottom,after she's had a long,hot bath,then whilst holding her bum cheeks apart,I'm sometimes allowed to clasp her hand, interlocking fingers.Recently,she tied my hands behind my back,with a simple yellow ribbon,then lay back on the bed as I serviced her pussy for what seemed like hours.During that I glanced up to see her mauling her breasts,breasts I'm not even allowed to see,let alone touch.I called her "A bitch" for what she was doing.She replied "That's why you adore me, isn't it .....slave!" I was silent,head bowed," timidly,saying yes!" "Louder !" she said "Yes!","There's a good slave.But,no cumming for you tonight,because you hesitated.!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing your story. It's very interesting.
      Are there any other domination aspects in your relationship?

      Delete
  2. First, I want to thank you so much for your post.
    It started something good to my relationship.we have some excitement that we did not have for years.

    We are both "vanilla" and married for 10 years.
    Both of us never thought of female domination in any way.

    Yesterday I came across your website by mistake.
    I read it and got curios. After having one glass of wine :) I decided to try it.

    Well, he loved it very much. He said he is impressed to discover a new side of me, and he asked me if I can be his also mistress today.


    I have few questions.
    1. I'm liked the idea of dominating him "outside" the bedroom, when can i start with it? Do I have to wait? how long?
    2. It was surprised to me that he liked it. is it possible that he loves to be dominated but hide it all these years?

    Jane.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WOW. You really surprised me with your comment.
      I did not expect such impact on a vanilla couple. and definitely not that fast.
      Excellent work Jane! :)

      Answers:
      1, It depends on your progress, I suggest to try #9,10 and 11 before you try "outside"
      2. I don't think so. You are married for 10 years. If he had such passion, he could not hide it so many years. So no. he did not.trust me you would know if he had it.
      He is probably open-minded and exited to explore it.

      This is a very good news.
      I wonder how it will progress...please do share with me.
      Good luck!

      Delete
  3. Hi Goddess,
    I'm 29 years-old submissive male.
    Regarding the "foot worship is similar in many ways to a religious worship"

    You raised a point that i never thought about and could not explain the feeling.

    When I worship my goddess wife feet, I feel the same way! It really feels like a religious worship.
    I feel that my wife is my goddess and I'm worshiping her so much. I know it may sound strange, but it feels very spiritual.
    And you right! I love the smell and taste of her feet. and I feel very submissive and willing to do whatever she wants after it...I guess there is something psychological about it.

    Thank you for letting me understand something i felt but could not understand before.

    P.S I love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comment!
      I'm glad to know I made you understand something new :)

      However, I'm sure your wife didn't know it. She probably thinks it's only act of submission.
      I suggest you let her know about it. It will make her enjoy it even more when she knows you are worshiping her that way.She will feel like a real goddess ( I'm sure you agree she is )

      You can share my post with her :)

      Delete
  4. Goddess I love your blog most. and I think only you can only help me. I am 27 year old married man since my teenage life i had desire to serve Dominate woman Like you and stay under there feet , but as I get married to my wife she does not like submisson and D/S thing. she simple doesnot love it at all. Goddess how could I make her believe that there nuthing wrong in it. on second hand I am also shy man idk how to tell her that i love being woman slave and follow there order,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Try the below and let me know....
      real-femdom.blogspot.com/2013/09/how-to-make-your-wife-or-girlfriend_7.html

      Delete
  5. Maybe, one of the best guides i 've ever read! Its important to find guides with many details and with this 'step by step and photos' style. Women can apply these techniques easily day by day without the fear to lose their 'magic'. My only objection is that collar has to come later. Or to try first with a sheet and then because 'its uncomfortable....' to buy the collar. I'm really waiting for the sequel...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Excellent!!! And what about between 4 and 5 night to cum with his own hand in front of me, while I'm still dressed...

    ReplyDelete
  7. most of the females get freaked out and think that femdom is weird
    how can I make them enslave me?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. check out my post how to make your girl interested in femdom.

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. Did you complete the first part ?

      Delete
    2. Yes, except the feet section. That is not by best part. I bought the collar, we laugh at start but we play with it. I love the part which he is aroused and tied, and his orgasm is completely depended on me...

      Delete
    3. Great. I'm glad my guide helped you,
      Well, In my post there is a short second part that you can start with. The problem is that it's hard to write the second part because it contain more individual steps and less general. I will try to write it but it will take time.

      You are welcome to use "contact me" on the right top side, if you want advices in private about the second part.

      Delete
    4. Ok, take your time about your second part. I can help you with some ideas by the way so you can publish them...

      Delete
    5. How about the 12th night (or better many nigths later without him to cum) to leave him naked on bed, play with him until he is very hard ann then ask him:
      -Do you want to cum?
      -Yes mistress, please
      Put him a condom and tell him:
      -Turn over and fuck the bed...
      If he says "i dont know or something like that" spank him and tell him "now bitch".
      He will put a condom, he will lay on bed with face down, and then you go on him right up on his ass to give the rythm as he will start to move just to cum...
      Its a very humiliative scene and he will start to equate cum with you on top of his own ass (if you know what i mean...)

      You can find a photo, and begin to write the second part of this article with your own words and imagination... The secret is to go slowly in domination. Thats it for now... I hope that you like it...

      Delete
    6. Very good idea. Thanks :)
      You are welcome to share more ideas...

      Delete
    7. After one month with these tactics and scenes when he thinks about sex that means that he:
      - Remain naked on bed
      - You are dressed with sexy outfit but not naked
      - He serves you in any way you ask
      - Intercourse is very rare
      - You spank him hard very often
      - Sometimes he will cum but in a hummilliative way as i said before

      For the next month i have more ideas... to make him submissive slowly!

      Delete
    8. The 13th night after a long night and games, and while he is very hard, take a pair of satin pants of yours and move them on his naked body.... Start slowly and on his neck and go down slowly... He must be tied on bed so he can not move... Play with your pants on his manhood and after a while he will moan. Then ask him...
      -Do you want to cum?
      -Yes please...
      Then with the pants in your hand start to play with him. If its possible use lubricate on your pants... He will love the sense of the satin on his manhood. Make him to cum hard...

      The 14th night you do the same but this time you tell him that its uncomfortable to play with the pants, that its difficult to hold them in your hand... While he is very hard after the sex-games, tell him to lift his ass so you can wear them on him. If he says 'i dont think so', 'maybe not' or something like this show a bit disappointment and tell him maybe another time and go away from the bed. Of course he will change his mind and he will tell you to make him cum. Then put the pants on him, tell him that he is very sexy in them, kiss him with passion. Just to show how you like the pants on him stay naked in front of him and make love to him (after several days without intercourse) but without make him cum yet. Tell him again that he is very sexy. Finally use lubrication and start to play with his dick until he cums very hard on the pants.

      Sorry about my English, you dont need to publish this exactly like i wrote it. You can add some elements, correct the syntax and add some photos! You can also prepair the second part of this section.
      Have a good day!

      Delete
  9. Hi Goddess
    Firstly I bow down at your godlike feet for your greatness and I want you to answer me for my question please, I loved a girl vary much I worshiped her and liked that but after 3 years to be lovers and 5 months of engagement she lift me, I told her that she is my goddess all the time, do you think she left me because I worshiped her and I was her slave?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thousands of couples are breaking up every day for different reasons.
      I don't have enough information to share my opinion.
      You are welcome to contact me and share your story.

      Delete
    2. Please let me share my story if it would help my case, We loved each other during our study in the university, we did a lot of beautiful things like sex but not that hard sex, and worshiping, I worshiped her and she worshiped me, we were each other gods.
      I preyed to her day and night, bowing up and down and kneeling. I kissed her hands, feet, and shoes.She enjoyed that and liked that very much, she loved me when I worshiped her and when she worshiped me, we putted our religion away and we were each other religion. I loved her more than my life as she was, but something happened that I left the university for some reasons, she knew these reasons very well and I tried to go back to complete my study but I couldn't, in that time she insisted to engage her I told her it's not the good time for that but she didn't listen and still insisted until I engaged her from her parents. During the engagement period they treated me as good man sometimes and sometime not, and she told me many times she want to leave me because I can't complete my study and I don't have too much many. One day me and she and her parents decided to get marry and we have an accord for every thing. At exactly the next day, I called her as usual to say some sweet words for my love but she told me that she want to leave me, I begged her a lot but it's the first time that she didn't had any feelings and she ended the call. this story happened about one year and six month but my still broken up to this moment I'm very gentle man and I believed she left me because I didn't complete my study so I'm now back to my beloved university and completing my study because I have the feelings I'm a very gentle man and I deserve much more better than that lady, she now engaged or may be married and I'm afraid from women now.
      Please goddess I beg you, tell me your opinion and how I can fix my heart?
      and one more thing goddess, I can't wait and I wand a goddess to love and worship please help for that I pray at your feet to help me for finding a great and beloved goddess to fix my heart and give her my life for ever.

      Delete
    3. Hey Jack,
      You also sent me email via the contact form. I will answer you privately.

      Delete
    4. Jack, the email you left is not correct. resubmit it in the contact form.

      Delete
  10. Genius! Pure Genius. Thank you Goddess for publishing this. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. hello Goddess i came across ur blog and it soo freaking amazing , it turns me on and i would love to be a slave to a goddess :D
    am a muslim from morocco and am quite into femdome roligion .. to be ownd by a goddess whom i will worship and make her my devine God
    this is ma email abdolatef.abdool33@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is a fantastic article.
    I'd love to talk with you about re-publishing, if you were interested :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I want to try that with my girlfriend is there any other way to introduce her to be my femdom and goddess without the idea of open blog and post every day because I'm not good in that pla help me

    ReplyDelete